26/09/25
I liked Maisy.
I always did
Blake was lucky with her, he just didn't know it, but then again most lads never realise until it's too late. It was a shame every man and his dog could see it. Blake may have been intelligent,for the most part [and that was a stretch to say the least] he may also have been funny, god-forbid, charming—none of that mattered to me anymore,not in the slightest, not now anyway. I remembered my distant-uncles advice "If You Want It, Go Out And Get It" and I thought to myself at that moment—why am I allowing someone who so easily sold me out a second chance.
I'm going to fuck Maisy
I charmed her, sung her sweet nothings in her ear, like my dad had told me to do, anything to get in her pants, I didn't care and neither should you, I made it out like Blake had cheated but deep down I knew Blake would never cheat, he just isn't the person to do that, is he? Thing is, none of this matters when you're young, it's all just words. Blake had sold me out, so I was going to ruin his life, in any way, shape or form I could and I didn't care how much it hurt. Why would I? It was either me or him, it certainly wasn't going to be me—anyway, it went like this.
She said she felt bad—I laughed...
I said "there's nothing to worry about, Blake doesn't have to know, he doesn't like you anyway, that's what he said to me anyway". Frighteningly, I think she may have fell for it, as well, that's [to me anyway] the scariest part about The Change.
I expected resistance—but there was no resistance, not from her, anyway.
She came over to mine and took my virginity, something, of course, I didn't expect in the slightest, but here we're, this is where we're heading. I didn't complain, then again, it was more beneficial for me then it was for her, but I wondered, what must it have felt like to be a woman and to be fucked, because obviously, I was and always have been hetero-sexual—what would it feel like to be the one being fucked? I don't remember much about it, felt like a blur, didn't care though, I'd lost my virginity and screwed over someone I onceconsidered a friend, which, in the long-run felt better than the actual act itself. Blake would be furious, if he ever found out, but before I leave sixth-form, I thought I needed him to know. I needed her to know. Maisy would let herself out, obviously, not until I've given her a hug and made her feel better about her shitty situation, which, in hindsight—I was very good at doing. I'd only achieved a mere 50% of what I Really wanted to achieve, I was nowhere near to completion, even if I felt good about it now, this was only half of the game I was over-seeing. The second-half, would be the better half, the more devious half. It was only a matter of time too... Just thinking about it, gives me chills.
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